I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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