Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
