I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
