I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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