She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
