he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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