I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
