The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
