I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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