To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
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