If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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