I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
