the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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