is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
