So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
