Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
your like the ambassador to my penis.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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