come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
