What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
