At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
