Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
