Do you still have your period?
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
