Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
