I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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