please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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