you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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