I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
two words: eviction party
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
