Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
