Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
