Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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