i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
