i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
