Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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