so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
this just has baby written all over it
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
