When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
