That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
