Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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