So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
