Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Randomize
