If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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