I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
