i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
