Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
