the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
