I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
