lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Randomize
