So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
