How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'm at about main and main street
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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