is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
