Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
