He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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