Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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