I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
i believe in u and ur pee
PANTIES FOUND
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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